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Warmbodies
By
Camincha
Elsa’s eyes widened as she listened in amazement, what are warm... warm, what? to see you through the day?
She's lonely! I made a mistake buying the apartment. But four years ago she encouraged me: Millbrae has lots of sunshine and only fifteen minutes away! I'll visit often when I get tired of the foggy days in Pacifica, she promised. She was happy for me.
Ann, she called her by her first name, since at thirteen realized she didn't look like anybody's mother, more like her sister. What are they? And trying to keep her voice even toned, setting aside thoughts of all the chores she had planned to take care of that evening, prepared to listen.
Clearing her throat, Warmbodies are company. Ann said.
Elsa took notice.
Writing can be a lonely occupation, Ann continued. Just you and the computer specially when you have to meet deadlines. Warmbodies break the monotony of the day. Is what I love about them. Not like when you have friends over and have to entertain them.
Elsa hugged her, what? but you wanted it this way, a part time job, so you could have time to write. No?
Yes. But the days of sweet-late-sleep are also days I'll probably spend all by myself.
That's when Warmbodies are welcomed. The ones that are supposed to be selling EXTERIOR COVER have been good so far.
Siding? You just had the house painted.
Oh! my love, I’m not buying anything.
Elsa enjoyed the familiar white on white walls, leather couch, marble table. E1egant. Enjoyed Ann's company, the trim, pretty woman bringing the tray into the room. Meantime she enjoyed the last drops of Pinot Noir in her glass while the aroma of the delicious Chateaubriand lingered on her palate.
Seventy, and she’s still so active. What a dinner! Elsa exclaimed aloud.
What did you say? Ann smiled.
I said, what a dinner! Thank you! And I love those orchids floating in the glass bowl. I remember when father brought it from Italy. How he used to enjoy evenings like this with us. I'm lucky. I still have you.
I don't have to worry about should or shouldn't I "put her in a home." Like some of my friends have had to do. Heart breaking.
Oh! my favorite, cherry chiffon pie! Elsa poked a finger in it and licked it with relish.
It was a mild autumn evening. Still laughing they settled in front of the lighted fireplace. It brought her memories of cold winter nights and she was little, ready to listen lying next to her mother.
Tell me the latest Ann, about these... what are they?
Warmbodies. And the glint in her mother's eyes shone brighter. Well, tomorrow I am expecting the representative of a windows company. Doesn't know it but he'll be here for only an hour, that's all I'll give him, from three to four. In the evening I'm going to dinner at Bill and Mark's. But I do need a Warmbody to see me through the day.
Richard, Elsa's boyfriend, always said: She is a lady with imagination. Instead of moping, nagging, she finds ways to lighten up her life. Listen to her, don't fly into a panic.
He'll be proud of me now, I’m really listening.
During the summer I have had no lack of Warmbodies, you know? Ann said. Had about four or maybe even five of them. I spaced them a week apart. None could have guessed why they were here. And if they pressed me to sign a deal, I would tell them looking straight into their eyes, I've been a home owner a long time. I’m not going to rush into anything. I'm going to think about it. And that's how I handle it. See?
Sensing Elsa was about to protest again. No, no it's alright. You know how I’m. I like to spice-up-my life. The local weekly was full of them
Full of what?
Well, full of handymen. Handymen. Painters, plumbers, electricians. For a couple of months I had a different one every week on different days. Painters were 0 K, just a little flaky, got it? The pun? Yeah. I had to call them and call them several times. Still, they would be late. There was one, though, he took most of my afternoon but I forgave him He entertained me flirting and telling stories of his two marriages and how "he would never learn." Also the 800 numbers. Found out that one 800 number...
One what?
800 hundred number. Listen. Listen, would bring out five, six of them.
How did... ?
I'll tell you.
You mean there is more to this? Elsa laughed.
When you want to spice-up your life, you can always learn from your mother. Elsa changed positions, placing her head on her mother's lap. Ana hugged her shoulders that perfume, is it Channel? Ann asked. Elsa nodded as she smiled to herself at what her mother considered fun and thought of to spice-up her life. But became alarmed when she heard: it was then I called the plumbers.
The plumbers... ? You didn't. . . Oh! well, tell me.
But after five eager, anxious plumbers I decided no more plumbers. They made a mess downstairs tracking dirt with their heavy shoes all over the garage.
What dirt?
From the space under the house where they went to inspect the pipes. And afterwards they would call and call, when did I want to start the work? I didn't mind the calls, but it took a lot of effort to make up excuses about why I wasn't having the extra shower installed.
Extra shower? Was that what you told them?
Yeah! And in between plumbers, l called the linoleum installers.
Now, that's an idea! Elsa joined in. The kitchen floor could really use it.
Ann paused, uhmnnn, yeah, let's talk about it later.
Let's... now tell me....
The two that returned my call were content to give estimates over the phone. How were they to know what I was really after? But having exhausted the JOBS WANTED columns of the weekly freebies I started paying attention to the many flyers about aluminum siding that periodically came in the mail, and the field was fertile.
However, in the Spring a new type of advertisement came:
We will refinish the outside of your house.
Peace of mind forever.
YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY AGAIN.
I called their 800 number. I played it their way. I was very agreeable. Yes, I’m the owner. Yes, I’ll make the decision myself.
But one of the 800 numbers didn't sell aluminum siding. No aluminum siding. No, instead they were going to cover the entire exterior of my house with this gook, this plastic product that came in ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL COLORS.... Called EXTERIOR COVER by Jordan. I made an appointment.
It wasn't his sales pitch but the guy himself that fascinated me. What kind of operation is this? I asked myself.
Why? What about him? Elsa asked.
He was a hunk and elegantly dressed, refined, executive material, just like the most successful downtown guy. And selling this gook to cover house walls? Come on!
We sat across from each other in the living room, I looked for signs of something that would give me a clue to, why? Perhaps, I concluded, he had been laid off by IBM or one of the other companies in Silicon Valley. Layoffs are the order of the day. That's why I'm so thankful I don't have to worry. Your father made such good arrangements for us. And your job? I know you are indispensable.
No. No one is, but for now all is well. So what did you find out? Did you ask him?
No. But I remember sitting across from him thinking: He is gorgeous. Told him I didn't know anything about that gook he was selling. Only I didn't say gook. I said EXTERIOR COVER.
Well, we have a video to explain it, he said, while his eyes searched the room.
Oh! I don't have a VCR I said, thinking good, he'll leave now. And I can go on with my writing. Have lots of stories to put in the computer, to edit. So I asked him, could you email me some information? Trying to sound interested.
He agreed that was a good idea. But I never heard from him, instead, someone else called to tell me he had the information. Would I be home, what time was convenient? We set a time.
He was Polish, three years in this country. Wife and two children, two boys. He had serious concerns about how to bring them up in the United States without losing their language, their love for their family. He said he was already having trouble with the school system
Public school? I asked sincerely interested.
Yes.
I sympathized with him! Let him know I understood what he was up against: The public school system is a sham, I said. Ineffective. More often than not the teachers are held back by a system that strips them of their authority.
My oldest boy, he continued, was selected last year for a special class for overachievers. This year, his voice rose with anxiety and anger and his body straightened to fit the straight-backed chair, they have him back in the class he was in last year.
He was so engrossed in our conversation didn't seem to notice I cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes while he talked and talked and his eyes followed me around. I told him, to get results, take your complaints to the Principal.
His eyebrows arched and his eyes got a fixed look of surprise.
Yes, I insisted. Go to the top.
He blushed, inspired by the energy in my voice and smiled broadly.
From his problem with the school, he went on to how to keep the kids from forgetting their Polish? Their culture?
He was pleasantly surprised by my suggestions. He liked what he was hearing. When I finished the dishes I pulled out the ironing board and ironed three pieces of my working wardrobe. Three days a week, you know. Ann laughed. Well, she continued, I was delighted. The kitchen, the dishes had been done, the ironing. All in good company. He looked at his watch. He had another appointment. We shook hands. I walked him to the door as if he were an old friend. But we both knew we would never see each other again. One thing about this type of sales person, they don't make second appointments, they have a good sense of smell for when a sale is or not in the making.
Once an elderly gentleman who had come to sell me an aluminum siding, not gook, siding. When he sensed I wasn't genuinely interested, he gathered all his suitcases and paper pads in one sweep and walked out the door faster than his years wanted to allow him saying: if you don't want to listen, I am-out-o’-here.
I didn't try to change his mind. He had already filled up the slot of time I had allocated him. For that's a firm rule. I give them an hour, no more. Sometimes though, there’ll be a door to door salesperson and then I have two the same day. However, I try hard to stick to my rule, l carefully schedule name, phone number, hour. I make sure to call and reschedule when necessary explaining: Something has come up. Can we make it another day? And you aren't going to believe it. Another hunk, shining executive type showed up from that company: EXTERIOR COVER by Jordan. I could hardly handle my surprise with discretion. What is this "Company" up to, laundering money? Has to be. No sales pitch. No one cares about selling!
Well, it was one of those days that make Pacifica so enjoyable. Unusually sunny and warm. He sat himself comfortably in the dining room. Placed his briefcase on the table: Oh! I thought he showed you the video. He didn't show you the video? he asked. And crossed his legs, showing his knee-high silk stockings and tilted his head just so, at an elegant angle. And we had a great conversation. It went on well over and hour. But I didn’t mind.... So guess, who is taking me out to dinner next Saturday? Ann smiled.
Copyright © 2005 Camincha
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