SoMa Literary Review - Poem for all Western Civilization

Poem for all Western Civilization

By Steven Hoadley

I sit listening to muzak playing in my ear
from a phone propped on my shoulder
waiting for a live voice
to help me solve my problem.

For the privilege of listening to a 2nd-rate orchestra
play a 1st-rate Beatles song,

I had to . . . .

Enter my telephone number
listen to it repeated back to me by a robot
hit pound
punch in my zip code
listen to it repeated back to me by a robot
hit pound
say my name
listen to it repeated back to me by a robot
hit pound
wait in dead silence for an unknown period of time
hear three strange clicking sounds,
then warned by the robot
that my call may be monitored to insure
quality
customer
service.

Then the robot asked me for my password.

Password?

Hit star.

I sit listening to muzak playing in my ear
from a phone propped on my shoulder . . . .

Also by Steven Hoadley on SoMa Literary Review:

The Life and Daily Death of Sam Mackie

Episode One: Thoroughly Bad James

Episode Two: Even Jesus Farted
Episode Three: A Love Story

Episode Four: Dave's Dementia

Episode Five: The Last Straw

Bedtime, Barbra Streisand can Shove Her Memories up Her Ass,
A Midnight Poem That Had to be Written Before Sleep Could Be Had, One Year,
Sunday Morning Coffee, The Rejection, A Reason to Move, The San Ramon War Protest, 86'd Again, Youth, Denny's, Karma, Suffering of an Idiot & Poem for all Western Civilization