SoMa Literary Review

Blue Navy

By David-Matthew Barnes

A sailor who lost his way discovered me

discovering me, dancing on the shore of his

own quest for peace. I was only fifteen. Dumb,

numbed by the ardent blows of bracelets, boy-

friends, parents who believed in better-left-unsaids.

He was a fire escape, a shot in the dark, a fucked up

turbulent flight to freedom. He said laughter was the cure

for everything. I lived for movies like Sweet Dreams,

cheerleading try outs, hot make out sessions with male

models at Lake Merritt , sleep overs at Sabra's. I breathed

in synch with the beat of the streets of Berkeley . A trip

to 7-Eleven equaled fruit flavored wine coolers on our lips.

On a midnight football field, at an all-boys Catholic school

I was the Saint of his sorrow. We toasted to tomorrow.

I remember that night we stayed together. I shared my first

bed with him. He didn't touch me, but he held me. Only

now, I know the difference. To say goodbye, he took the bus,

from where his ship was docked three cities away. I wasn't home.

He left a green piece of paper, a note on the black front door

of my skull. Words for me, my parents, the world to know:

He was leaving me behind. I left the memory on the shores

of the Bay, with my innocence that I have yet to regain. Like ships,

soldiers come and go, slide in and out, beneath bridges and boys

who know better than to believe. The water always reveals

what I am too blind to see in my search for true love.

David-Matthew's work has been featured in over a hundred literary journals and anthologies and his stage plays have been performed in three languages in seven countries. SINS OF THE FLESH, a chapbook of David-Matthew's poetry, was published in 2002 by Word Riot Press. His first book length collection of poems, ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS, was just completed.