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Beer and Chaos
By
Joe Romano
“I’m not looking to complicate anyone’s life”, he said, draining his second beer and replacing the pint glass to its soggy napkin. “Life is complicated enough without creating your own chaos. But sometimes life just isn’t enough. I think we search for ways to add chaos, even if we eventually regret it, because the day to day routine of living just doesn’t cut it. Does that make sense?”
She watched the sidewalk traffic passing in front of Harrington’s Bar and Grill and pulled at her drink. She was already mid-way through her third beer. She liked her beer and he liked that about her. “I suppose so, she answered. “What is it you’re looking for?”
“I don’t really know,” he said, waving his arm to flag down their elusive waitress. “No one wants to fuck up their life but the idea makes me happy. Maybe that’s
enough, just knowing there’s someone else that’s attracted to you. It makes you feel good about yourself. But I always end up wanting more. Wondering what a kiss would be like. Imagining the feel of her lips, my tongue on her teeth. Yea, it’s weird I know, but you asked and I’m trying to be up front. It’s a good thing I don’t work here anymore. The potential for trouble is huge.”
The waitress delivered another round, laying out fresh cocktail napkins and collecting the empties. The girl was quiet.
“What do you think?” he asked, taking a large swallow of beer
“I don’t know. No, that’s not true. I think you’re a sweet guy, I just don’t want to think of you that way. I could but I can’t so what’s the point?”
“I know. It’s pointless. I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer to that question. I wish I did, I really do. I wish I could justify it somehow but I know I’d be lying to myself. I’ve done enough of that in my life already. I guess the reality is that we can't have it both ways right now. If it went any further we'd lose the friendship. Sucks but that’s the truth of it. We just don't know each other well enough to sustain it
afterward. The switch from intimacy to awkwardness would kill it.” He paused. “Now next year. That’s always a possibility", he grinned, tipping his beer.
“I’ll drink to that,” she said, and flagged the waitress passing by with an armload of empties.
Copyright © 2005 Joe Romano
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